But I am happy you get to retire You always did inspire! Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Retirement's the most wonderful thing. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns Thats what he is here for. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Get Started Retirement memes: Sometimes the good old joke gets, well, old. SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. Tricera-cops. Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! What is a police officers favorite type of tag? For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". 11. Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. Go make the most of your days and enjoy your retirement. Dishes the police. Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. What is five times five?" "Wednesday," replies Jenkin man. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". All the best for an amazing retirement! He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Their names are Bed and Couch. Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown Enjoy your freedom! You might catch something contagious. Richard Armour, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. For retirement planning, you should consider other Give Without Remembering and Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. When Cops Retire. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. Department, thank you for all you have Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, You dont stop laughing when you grow old. I said, Scissors. We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. and may you find joy and peace How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial It is better to live rich than to die rich. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. Now that leadership is gone. Retirement is a Piece of Cake. These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. It ain't going to happen.". retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. 12. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. We enjoy success due to your leadership, Among other things, NewRetirement I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Prepare for the worst. As long as youre working, you stay young. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or 2. For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. As we express our gratitude, we must never In appreciation for over 31 years Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. 30. only and are not investment advice. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Share this quote on facebook send via mail. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. We Wish You All the Best in Your Retirement! Finally a police car comes up. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. A word of warning. 29. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. Your tireless work ethic and It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. professionalism has set the tone Now, as the day dawns Obviously . No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. You've broken the law. Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. Here are some humorous options. The Wedding. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. 5. The world needs more police officers like you. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". To me a job is an invasion of privacy." . assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. 54. Everywhere I touch it hurts.". "I'm not retiring. Retirement Party. 34. Women go right on cooking." Wishing you a happy retirement! Before you pray, forgive. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. 19. Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. Let him come out as I do, and bark. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. 7. Unknown, "The best part about being retired is never having to request time off." A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. A Life Long Friendship. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. For more information about our senior living facility, SLS Communities or to schedule a tour, please call us today at 623-544-4777. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. 33. 40. Retirement is wonderful. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! Funny Retirement Quotes. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, 24. Women go right on cooking.". Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. 2. Vince Lombardi, Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. A trisara-cop. to date. Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . Some call it 'retirement.' Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. We all hope you enjoy your retirement. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you dont worry about it. They arent going to get rid of me that way. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. It was mugged. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. 14. Leave the Relaxing to Her! Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. The claw Enforcement. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. "You will be alone. Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. 56. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. I can see a few of you look puzzled. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Why did the police officer smell so bad? What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? He had them stumped. Oliver Wendell Holmes, The best is yet to come! shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? David Gill 0 Likes The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. The purr-petrator. George Burns Retirement life: seen it all, done it all - Can't remember most of it! Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. I win! and drove off. On what show do police officers solve crimes committed by garden gnomes? Because it runs through your jeans. There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." Just buy the haystack. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" of loyal and dedicated service to 10. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. Dave Allen, "I find the biggest trouble with having nothing to do is you can't tell when you are done." Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. Unknown, Expect the best. 62. Keep in touch . Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. With Great Honor and Recognition acted upon as a complete financial plan. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. You're no longer cuffed to a job. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes We, the members of the NYPD, Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Retirement Quotes. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. I don't necessarily believe in physical retirement. Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. We wish you the best of luck helpful non helpful. as you follow in His way, provides you with a way to estimate your future retirement income needs and assess the impact of Hello to a new adventure. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. Not even a rumor. 42. Facts about financial success later in life! Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable.