I mean, you are very Laura: Let's just put it this way You have the perfect face for your head. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? Waldo put today's date on the flyer. Harriette: Who cares? Eddie borrowed money from me. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. I'm going to give you an 'A'. But you'll never play in this game again. Carl: Rough. Clarence has under control. Just blacked out for a second there! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. So to see if he can find the best, Steve challenged a few men to put their usuals to the test!SUBSCRIBE to get t. Aunt Oona: The gas pipe broke when my living room flooded. I'm on duty? Laura, please. Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! Who does these things? Carl Otis Winslow: [after picking up Eddie who was arrested for gambling] Edward, stop looking around for Steve, he's at his own home having this same conversation with his parents. Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? It's not fair. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. You would win the gold. How did you know? And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Come here, let me give you some sugar. He doesn't have the advantages to see how good the cops are like our kids have. Why would somebody do this to me?' ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. Dr. Goodrich: Ms. Crawford, I am a medical doctor, not a carnival act! Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! Wa chee! Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. Laura: Every time we order another course, you bring your chair closer. I'll teach that. Welcome to Leroy's! Can you imagine that? Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. I wouldn't know what to charge. [faints]. ", Harriette Winslow: She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and she said "Why, Mom?". "Tomorrow, Dad!" Laura Lee Winslow: No, it really bugs me that Steve is the only guy with enough guts to stand up to Willie. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. More like The Repulsions. Laura: Steve, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tutor Todd. Chico! Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. Rodney Beckett: I'm Rodney, but my friends call me Rod-meister. 8. And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? Can you carry me home? I could hear him sobbing in his suspension chamber. All the doo da day. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". No. It's not funny, it's dangerous. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: Then how 'bout a nice juicy thigh? I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! He opted ofr early retirement. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? Mucus comes in so many colors. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. That's one for the books! And we practiced for six minutes! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Way to go Carl! Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Waldo: I can't talk to girls. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. Well, name a couple. 2023. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Then, you'll need a wide-angle lense. Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. Laura Lee Winslow: You couldn't check out a book? Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. No more chimes. Laura Lee Winslow: No surprise visits from Steve Urkel. But you know what, I find her very attractive. Undaunted, Steve switches the station to polka music and ends up having a good time dancing with Waldo and Maxine], Carl: By the way, thanks for letting me use your chamber, Stefan. Ms. Steuben: Oh, good. [Willie is upset at Waldo as Laura shows up to the crime. That's all. I was kickin' butt. He woke me up too. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. The truth is you deserve a kiss. I do not like 30 people hanging around my shoulder, saying "Hey Senora, can you eat a little faster?". Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. Hey, wait a minute. Harriette Winslow: I know. Donna Santangelo: And get this, Urkel's tuxedo fits! Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. It meant a lot to me. Carl Otis Winslow: [furious] Edward is in jail. I can't live like this. Harriette Winslow: Then clean it up, I'm still on strike. Whoo! I won't be able to take you to the prom. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. Sara Sue Pettyjohn: [stuck up toward Myrtle's lack of style and class] That's the difference between *old* money and *new* money. Harriette Winslow: [while trying to calm an apprehensive Rachel about leaving Richie overnight with the babysitter for the first time] Rachel, I know it's hard leaving your baby for the first time, but after that it gets a lot easier. [Calls Laura's Cell and gets OGD instead]. Waldo: [pause] Wow! He couldn't cover his head with his hat. Would you care to heal them with a kiss? I'm here. Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. And I like the Red Sox. [He leaves the house]. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit. Why would anybody want to kill her? Steve Urkel: [while Laura and Maxine hit Steve with two Boston Cream Pies] No, AAH!, WAAAH! Bushwhacker Luke: Me and me brother, we hate cops! Laura: Science class. The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. Refresh my memory. Steve Urkel on CBS? Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. Maxine: Ugh, what is this? Harriette: I don't know. Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. Harriette Winslow: Now here's something I didn't know. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name. You're making me blush. And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. [to Steve] I'm wearing you DOWN, baby! [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Reading, 'Riting and Racism? Steve Urkel: Why, I can see the headlines now! Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? Steve Urkel: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. People just love juicy gossip! Harriette Winslow: Harsh? I tried to help you! We are properly trained. No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! Suppose I made it happen. [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. But I have feelings, too. He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Uh no, Waldo, state your name. Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? Oh, good. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. Steve Urkel: Yeah, but now I have an excuse. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. I'm being born! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? Anybody have more punch? Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking! And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. Lt. Murtaugh: I dropped the, uh, nerd off next door at the, uh, nerd house. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! If you have something to say, just spit it out. Get up and get your own pie! During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class. Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Harriette: Well, if he remembers you, he's used to you looking like a jerk. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. Steve Urkel: All right! Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? My parents play this with me all the time! Steve Urkel: Oh, please, Laura. [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! No. I can't breathe! Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. Come here. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Let me tell you something though Weasel. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts? Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? I love my Army. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. I'm in college. I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. Cassie Lynn: Try me. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Urkel pronouns are the best. Steve Urkel: My "play-ground pass"? I don't know what to say. He's having the same discussion with his father. Carl: Overreact? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. We've got cheerleaders taller than him. "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. I'm drawn to you. Can't see a darn thing. "Clean up your room, Edward." Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. Grab a blanket and go sleep in the bathtub. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Jaleel White, the actor best known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, has launched his own cannabis brand - on the day enthusiasts around the globe enjoy a toke. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart.